The Right Lock
by Cassandra
Summary: She didn't count them by worlds. She counted them by jumps. Leaps. Trips. Jaunt was the official word used by her Torchwood. And after the third jaunt, she'd stopped seeing him as her own Doctor. Because none of them had been her own Doctor. None.
**Disclaimer:** The Whoniverse and all characters associated with Doctor Who belongs to RTD, the BBC and any current showrunners. The plot of this oneshot does belong to me however. This fic was originally created for a contest of a sort years ago has been stowed away since. Forgive any mistakes or any deviations from proper Doctor Who storylines.

 **Title:** The Right Lock

 **Pairing:** Ten/Rose

 **Timeline:** Up to and including Series 4, most especially leading into the events of Turn Left.

 **Rating:** PG

 **Excerpt:** She didn't count them by worlds. She counted them by jumps. Leaps. Trips. Jaunt was the official word used by her Torchwood. And after the third jaunt, she'd stopped seeing him as her own Doctor. Because none of them had been her own Doctor. None.

* * *

 **The Right Lock**

And I could never find my way without  
But you're already there  
And we, we've come a long long way without  
Without maps in our hands

 **The Greatest Lie - Circa Survive**

* * *

She didn't count them by worlds. She counted them by jumps. Leaps. Trips. Jaunt was the official word used by her Torchwood. And after the third jaunt, she'd stopped seeing him as her own Doctor. Because none of them had been her own Doctor. None.

Her TARDIS key had been used in constructing the search aspect of the Dimension Cannon. It would lock on to the energy signature of the TARDIS through its key. Her own TARDIS, she had thought, but it seemed all TARDISes in all the worlds had the same energy signature. And that had made it difficult in the end.

Her first trip had been the best and the worst. She'd learned her lesson very quickly after that one, once she'd finally returned. Because for a while there she had almost given up searching anymore. He had looked just like her own Doctor with the brown pin-striped suit and the wild, wonderful hair. He'd been broken from the inside out though.

Her first trip had been the easiest as well. Perhaps that world's atmosphere had been different, buffering her leap. She'd never jumped from one world to another before and when she'd stepped through, the jaunt had brought her to appear in mid-air. She'd floated down to the ground as if stepping from cloud to cloud and the TARDIS had stood fifteen away in green grass high enough to poke into her dark pants. Her heart had swelled, her breath tangling in her throat and she had wasted no time in running forward, pulling forth her key and inserting it into the lock.

It hadn't opened for her though. After several failed attempts, the door had been opened from the inside and he had stood before her, frowning. Perhaps he had been expecting someone else. Not her though. Never her. She had thrown her arms around his neck and he had simply allowed her, staring over her shoulder into the distance blankly because she wasn't his and she wasn't right.

She had spent three days with him. Three days in which they had crossed a line they had firmly established in their time together in her own world. She had passed away in his world a mere two months earlier, he'd told her. One wrong turn in the road and she'd been struck down while running with him, hand in hand. From the look on his face, it still haunted him and she was certain it would continue to haunt him until the very end of his long lives. She had quietly explained to him where she was from and what had happened to her in her original universe. Somewhere out there, in another world, her Doctor was running without her and she needed to go back to him.

He had asked her to stay with him in a moment of clear desperation, to run with him instead. He was the same man with the same mannerisms, the same madly beautiful self. But she knew her reasons not to stay even as she felt the same pain inside her that she saw in his eyes. And still having declined his offer, within two hours of meeting him she had climbed into his bed and given all of herself to him, to this one. Throughout the entire affair, she had known that she wouldn't be staying with this version of him because she had her own she needed to get back to.

But those three days had been enough to play with her mind, to drive her to the edge of insanity. Because she could've stayed. She could've closed her eyes in his arms, breathed him in and found him to taste and smell just right no matter how wrong he was. In those three days he had taken her to other planets, other times, and she had forgotten. For three full, blissful days, she had forgotten who she was and that she didn't belong. She had run with him, laughed with him, been his unconditionally and she had forgotten what it was to be without him.

She had remembered on the third morning when she had woken up in her own room in his TARDIS. She'd been more like that world's version of herself than she'd cared to admit and the TARDIS had rearranged the room to reflect the image of her bedroom in the Powell Estates. She had awoken, wrapped around his lean frame, her breasts pressed against the long line of his spine. False sunlight had filtered into the room through the window, casting a warm glow over his skin and shoulder. She had realized then and there, staring at the surreal sunlight, that this was not her world. She had never seen this side of her Doctor, nor had she had a replica of her Powell Estates bedroom in the TARDIS. None of it had fit correctly no matter how hard he had attempted it for her. She couldn't make those jigsaw puzzle pieces fit together here.

With that thought, she had stolen out of bed, had dressed herself and had kissed him goodbye. He had woken up at her kiss and his eyes had understood. Because the same way she had somewhere to be, he had someone to get over and staying together had not been the answer for either of them.

She had left his TARDIS that morning, activating her jump. The return trip had been bumpy and she had crash landed back in her Torchwood facility, breaking her collarbone upon impacting with the floor. The injury had sidelined her for a month and when she had reported back to work, she'd still been healing. But now that she'd had a taste of another world, there would be no one to stop her. She would risk numerous broken bones and twisted ankles to find her Doctor. That very day she had jumped again, this time with an expectant leap. She had landed on her two feet, wobbling before a deep blue TARDIS. That had been the only real thing to her then, the darkness of that phone box. The sky above had been much too blue, the leaves of nearby trees unbearably green, as if the world had been saturated with overwhelming color. She had inserted her TARDIS key once more into the lock, already knowing this world was incorrect. Sure enough, her key had failed yet again. She had quickly walked away from there, activating the jaunt without having seen the Doctor of that world at all.

Every jump, every world after the first, was radically wrong. She happened across devastated Earths, or worlds with zeppelins in red skies. And sometimes, when a world seemed just right, the Doctor made everything wrong. Sometimes he looked exactly right and then wouldn't know her from a passerby. Other times he would be dressed incorrectly which completely threw her. One encounter had stunned her enough to want to see more, especially upon seeing him dressed in denim and a jumper. She had spent the better part of a day with him after she had explained a little about herself. He hadn't believed initially that she'd hailed from a different world. But his curiosity had gotten the better of him and he'd taken her in his TARDIS to show her different parts of his universe's Earth.

One precise trip in his TARDIS would stick with her forever, she knew. He had taken her to a stadium in the heavens, bleachers erected in the sky, seating leading down into clouds. He had promptly tossed himself into a seat comfortably and had patted the one beside him, a wide smile crossing his lips. Even dressed differently, he was still the most beautiful, most intelligent person she'd ever known and he still said her full name when he was showing her the dazzling things this Earth had to offer. But she knew now that he said her full name only because he had just met her and it was the way he referred to everyone, by their full name but without the slightest hint of the affection she had come to crave from her own Doctor. It was a pain all of its own to hear her name roll off his tongue with nothing more than the smallest interest in her because of where she hailed from. However, she had still seated herself beside him and had looked down into the clouds. The Doctor, any version of him, would always show her something new and wonderful but it would be time to leave him soon.

She didn't know how many times she jumped. She only knew that, little by little, she was hardening herself to all these versions of him. Certain jaunts would put her right back in her place though. Sometimes she would sit outside his TARDIS because her key never worked and when he returned to his TARDIS or poked his head out, she would stumble across a new face entirely. She was met with the new face enough times to firmly believe she was encountering his Eleventh incarnation. Then once she was back in Torchwood, she would sit for hours at a time to ponder what could have caused him to regenerate.

Other times she ran into his Ninth incarnation. Those few times were enough to send her immediately back to Torchwood because parting with him as his Tenth incarnation had been enough. She had no desire to dig up wounded feelings from their very first parting.

Once all the worlds and all the Doctors began to look the same to her, she had realized that she needed a small respite, a break from encountering new Doctors. She needed a Doctor that would recognize her and would hold her the way her own Doctor would. With that in mind, she had reprogrammed the Dimension Cannon with settings from her very first jaunt. She had returned to that Doctor, the one who had taken her to his bed. He had welcomed her once more, still positioned in the same place where she had first met him. That revelation brought her back a step even though she knew she had been expecting to find him there. They would forever know where to find each other, she had realized dimly, allowing him to drag her into his embrace and tangle his fingers in her hair. She breathed him in and lost herself in him, understanding that no matter how different they were, they were still the same creatures inside. The same Rose Tyler as the one he had lost. The same Doctor as the one she had been separated from. And these worlds she'd visited, they were all lies, lies she told herself in an attempt to convince herself to move on somehow. But this world here, with this heartbroken Doctor, was the greatest lie. It had not stopped her from going back to him though and after making love to him, she had stirred in his arms and had asked why he was always in this place. Her Doctor would never have allowed himself to be tethered to one place, one time.

She had died there, he had explained to her quietly, a slender finger playing with a lock of her blond hair. The day she had died, they'd been a mere fifteen feet away from the TARDIS, from making it out alive. In fact, the same spot she always appeared in, that was the very place she had been cut down.

She'd sat up in bed to stare down at him, her heart tearing. He couldn't stay there, she'd told him desperately. He would never be able to let go if he stayed there. He had returned her gaze, a pained smile curling the corners of his lips before he'd lifted himself to kiss her, a raw caress and a fine trembling in his hands when he'd held her to him. She had made love to him again that night, feeling him around her and inside her and believing that this was right, that he would always be right. She told him, between kisses and sighs, that she wanted him to find someone, that he needed someone. Someone to stop him, stop him from ever coming back to this place again.

She needed to do the same though. She needed to stop coming back to this place and this world, no matter how much he made her want to stay. She still hadn't found the right Doctor or the right world and it was beginning to seem now that she might never find him. She had left him the same way she had left him before only this time he did not wake when she kissed him. He would find a note from her on the pillow she'd slept on, a note telling him to find someone and to not wait for her to return. She had no intention of coming back to him anymore.

Every world she jumped to after that one further dimmed any hopes of finding the proper Earth and the correct Doctor. But she began to notice as well that there were several times, several jaunts, in which she encountered a human version of her Doctor. The same face usually, his Tenth incarnation's face, although she had once stumbled across a human version of his Eleventh incarnation. She would forever question the crazy worlds and circumstances of those very same worlds. How could one sit and think about all the turns in the timelines, the winds in time that could create an entirely different world? It was mind-boggling and yet it was exhilarating to discover all these different places and to ponder the strangeness of these worlds. She began to jump with the notion of seeing new things though never forgetting the real reason for her jumps. She needed to find her Doctor but she wanted to see it all, all those worlds and all those differences.

Her desire had been cut to the quick on one specific trip. The world she landed in was deserted, the Earth scorched. She didn't recall how but she'd known immediately that there was no human life on the Earth anymore, and nothing familiar on the barren planet except a blue phone box hundreds of feet away. She had run for it, had pulled out her key and had prayed with all her might that the key wouldn't fit. If the key didn't fit she would activate her jaunt right then and there, unwilling to see anything more of this world. But she hadn't even gotten a chance to see if the key had fit. She had slammed into the door in her hurry and the doors had opened inward for her, already unlocked and leading into darkness. She had halted at the doorway, frightened. All her trips and jumps had taken her fear away but this was something new, something unexpected. A lifeless TARDIS. She had never encountered one of those. She had warily poked her head into the darkness and upon touching her palm to the wood of the doorway, the console had thrummed weakly. She'd jumped at the vibration in the wood but the more steps she took into the TARDIS, the more it seemed to come to life around her. And upon climbing the ramp toward the console, she had seen the figure on the jump seat.

She had turned and run right then and there. With the mere glimpse alone, she had spun around, frantically activating the jaunt and running right into the glowing blue light as the portal had appeared at the foot of the ramp. The familiar shiver had coursed through her as she had passed from that godforsaken world back into her own and she had crashed down onto the hard floor of the Torchwood facility upon completing the jump, her momentum having pushed her along.

Several doctors and scientists had come to her aid but she hadn't been able to rise from the floor, sobbing as she'd told them what she had seen. Of the skeleton draped across the jump seat, still dressed in pinstripes. And of a broken TARDIS that she had abandoned in its death throes.

She hadn't made any trips for a while after that. She just hadn't wanted to see anymore. Every planet, every world she went to, they could never make anything right and she could never make anything right for them either. What was the point of it all if nothing ever came of it?

It was her mother who had convinced her to continue in the end, to make one more trip. And then another. Because it was all for something, wasn't it? It had taken her mother a long time to convince her still. She finally recommitted herself only to selfishly make a jump to the very first Doctor she had visited, the one who would comfort her and love her until she found her real one.

But when she'd stepped into his world though, she had found his TARDIS to be missing from its usual place. Just like that he was gone, returned to the wind and the sun, the planets and the stars. Time and space had him back, had him all to themselves once more. She'd cocked her head slightly, searching the green field and listening closely. If she had just let herself believe, even for a moment, she'd have believed that she had heard his voice on a breeze and her laughter in response.

All she could do then was smile. Just the smallest twitch of her lips then the distinct curve of a beginning smile until it was a full-fledged grin. Because she'd finally managed to change something, change _someone_. Here in the very first world she had ever visited, she had helped the Doctor return to himself and continue traveling. She'd thrown her head back and laughed, feeling free for the first time in a long time and there was nothing like this feeling. There was nothing that could compare to having that sense of wonder back, the urge to travel and discover new places and worlds. The feeling had been missing for so long and to have it back reminded her of running with her Doctor. Turning and stepping across the ground where this world's Rose Tyler had fallen and died, she activated the jaunt and returned home, ready to discover new worlds once more even as she searched for her Doctor.

And in the following jump, the next world, she had found a TARDIS. Same as most of the other TARDISes she had encountered. But this time, her key fit the lock. She had opened the doors slowly, staring into darkness. It was her worst nightmare once more, a darkened TARDIS void of life. Except that when she'd touched her hand to the core, she'd felt the life flood back into the time machine. Somewhere, somehow, the Doctor had been taken captive or died, leaving behind his TARDIS. But no, not this time. This time, after finally finding her original world, she was not going to give up and run away. She was going to find her Doctor. With this TARDIS, _her_ TARDIS, powering the jaunts, she was going to jump once more, through time now. She was going to stop this world in its tracks because she hadn't come all this way to allow something like this to happen. This time, she was going to fight for it, for her Doctor and for her initial world. She was going to go back to Torchwood with all the data she had and she was going to figure out where it had gone wrong and what needed to be done to make it right.

With that, she made the jaunt back to the Torchwood facility to prepare for what would lay ahead.


End file.
